- Слушай, а компот варят только из фруктов или из овощей тоже?
- Компот из овощей - это борщ!

A MORAL STORY


Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers
that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the
forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as
supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He further announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed
the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their
farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so
scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!


The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he
had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf
of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. `Look at all these
monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to
you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for
$50 each.` The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the
monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant again, only lots and
lots of monkeys!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.

------------------

STORY IS NOT FINISHED YET

Villagers went to the city and asked the man, why he disappeared. The man told
them that he lost all the money and cannot buy more monkeys. The villagers
collected some money from surrounding villages to help that man so he can
continue his business of buying monkeys.

Now you have a better understanding of how the bailout works.

Приехал муж из командировки.
Дома жена как это принято в постели с каким то хмырем занимается сексом. Муж в ярости:
- ААА! Убью суку!
Хмырь вскакивает и бежать. Муж давай его ловить, а он весь потный, выскальзывает. Тогда он ловит любовника за член, но и здесь тот вырывается, и прыгает в окно. Мужик хватает ружье и делает 4 выстрела вслед убегающему все мимо.
Муж:
- Тьфу ты ё... товою мать! И член ему вытер, и с салютом проводил..!

Dva narkomana vihodjat na darogu, vidjat, tam voditelj Mercedesa koleso menjajet.
(1)Odin drugomu: Pojjjteem, gooopnim fantika, na doznjak togda hvatit.
(2)Vtoroj: Daffaaaj.
(1): Nu 4eee djaaadjaaa, i 4ooo mii s koooreesheem buuudeeem segoodnjaa kuuriitj?
Vodila(V) kak JEBN@T so vsego razmahu narka montirovkoj po golove, tak 4to tot kak stojal, tak i upal.
(V) vtoromu narku: TEBE TOZHE PRIKURITJ ?
(2): NET-NET, MI S KORESHOM ODNU NA DVOIH POKURIM
8D 8D

В начале семейной жизни идешь с женой рука об руку, в конце - лежишь задница к заднице.

-Смотри,какая блондинка сидит!
-Ну,это,типа,моя девушка!
-А обнимает её,типа,твой пацан,да?

... я пришью ему новые ножки...
... он опять побежит по дорожке...
... и опять попадет под трамвайчик...
... мазохист этот е@аный зайчик.

Жизнь на Земле - дорогое удовольствие, зато в комплект включен бесплатный круиз вокруг Солнца.

Увидишь ребенка - дай конфетку. Вдруг твой?

Разгадка 300-летнего шведского нейтралитета: Полтавская битва навсегда
отбила охоту к войнам.