Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 09:18
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don`t have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can`t believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says... "HEBREWS."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can`t believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says... "HEBREWS."
Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 09:18
A boy asks his granny: "Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?"
Granny replies: "Screw the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!"
Granny replies: "Screw the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!"
Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 11:01
vīrs sievai-paskaties kāda jauka diena šodien!
Sieva aizdomīgi-kas ta nu?
Vīrs -nu Tu tač teici,ka vienā jaukā dienā iesi prom no manis!
Sieva aizdomīgi-kas ta nu?
Vīrs -nu Tu tač teici,ka vienā jaukā dienā iesi prom no manis!
Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 11:06
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?`
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L`.
TEACHER: No, that`s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it`s H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn`t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I`m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ` I.’
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, ‘I am.`
MILLIE: All right... `I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.`
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father`s cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don`t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on `My Dog` is exactly the same as your brother`s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It`s the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?`
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L`.
TEACHER: No, that`s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it`s H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn`t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I`m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ` I.’
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, ‘I am.`
MILLIE: All right... `I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.`
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father`s cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don`t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on `My Dog` is exactly the same as your brother`s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It`s the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 11:41
Labs, Mizx! 
Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 12:29
А вот и три стадии опьянения женщины:
1. Ой, какая я пьяная...
2. Кто пьяная? Я пьяная???
3. На вопрос таксиста "Куда едем?" треснусть его по голове сумочкой и сказать: "Не твоё дело, скотина!"
1. Ой, какая я пьяная...
2. Кто пьяная? Я пьяная???
3. На вопрос таксиста "Куда едем?" треснусть его по голове сумочкой и сказать: "Не твоё дело, скотина!"
Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 12:30
А своих слабых и больных детей трансформеры сбрасывали со скалы на Землю... Так появился ВАЗ...
Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 12:33
Степени загрязнения носков:
1 Непахнут
2 Пахнут
3 Воняют
4 Стоят
5 При поподании в стену медленно сползают вниз
6 При поподании в стену висят
7 При поподании в стену медленно ползут вверх
8 Когда вы заходите в автобус - все выходят из автобуса
9 Когда вы заходите в автобус - из него уже никто не выходит
1 Непахнут
2 Пахнут
3 Воняют
4 Стоят
5 При поподании в стену медленно сползают вниз
6 При поподании в стену висят
7 При поподании в стену медленно ползут вверх
8 Когда вы заходите в автобус - все выходят из автобуса
9 Когда вы заходите в автобус - из него уже никто не выходит
Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 12:35
Поймал Старик Хоттабыч золотую рыбку - и поняла рыбка, что это п#здец
Dienas Anekdote.
12. Augusts 2009, 12:36
Только наши программисты, чтобы отдохнуть от компьютера садятся смотреть телевизор.