Šis tiešām labs !

Tas pats mīms:

Britu jociņš tūristiem:

Kaut kā sanāca.

Yesterday I was at my local Co-op buying a large bag of Purina dog food for
my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I
had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I`m retired and have little
to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn`t have a dog, I was starting
the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended
up in hospital last time, but that I`d lost 2 stones before I woke up in
intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works
well and I was going to try it again.

*(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)*

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her *"No, I stepped off a kerb to sniff an Irish Setter`s arse and a car hit us both!" *

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I`m now banned from the Co-op.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

Nav jau īsti anekdotes, bet smuki

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smETLCCPTVo&feature=player_embedded

http://www.helloevoque.com/beinghenry/ru-ru/

interesanti kaapeec aiztika tie6i mersi nevis RR vai Ferrari!!

http://forte.delfi.lv/auto_pasaule/vilnas-mers-ar-brunmasinu-parbrauc-neatlauti-novietotu-mersedesu.d?id=39905951

Tapēx ka viņš kapeikas maksā atšķirībā no pārējiem.

From Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some of the guest`s complaints during the season.
1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."


2. "It`s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during `siesta` time - this should be banned

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don`t like spicy food at all."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

5. A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

6. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she`d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

7. "The beach was too sandy."

8. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

9. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

10. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

11. "We bought` Ray-Ban` sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

12. "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

13. "There was no egg slicer in the apartment..."

14."We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish..."

15. "The roads were uneven."

16. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

17. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends` three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

18. "The brochure stated: `No hairdressers at the accommodation’. We’re trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

19. "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. There are too many foreigners."

20. "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

21. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

22. "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

23. "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."