Joki un Anekdotes I
09. Oktobris 2008, 16:52
Dèlins pieet pie mammas un saka:mammu vecaimàtei starp kàjàm ir garnele.Màte izbrìnà:kàda garnele?Dèlins:ejam paràdìsu.Abi aiziet skatities,vecmama gul pàlì kàjas papletusi,dèlins saka:paskaties mamm.Màte sokà:dèlin tà nav garnele,tas ir klitors.Dèlins:nu ja klitors tad klitors,bet garso pèc garneles.
Joki un Anekdotes I
09. Oktobris 2008, 19:50
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack`s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.
Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won`t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor`s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy`s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy`s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy`s mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro`s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro`s English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny`s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack`s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.
Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won`t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor`s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy`s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy`s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy`s mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro`s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro`s English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny`s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
Joki un Anekdotes I
10. Oktobris 2008, 13:31
Старый мужчина отличается от молодого тем, что у него тренировочные
вытянуты только на коленках
вытянуты только на коленках
Joki un Anekdotes I
10. Oktobris 2008, 13:45
[user]580762|ZONA|[/user]Dèlins pieet pie mammas un saka:mammu vecaimàtei starp kàjàm ir garnele.Màte izbrìnà:kàda garnele?Dèlins:ejam paràdìsu.Abi aiziet skatities,vecmama gul pàlì kàjas papletusi,dèlins saka:paskaties mamm.Màte sokà:dèlin tà nav garnele,tas ir klitors.Dèlins:nu ja klitors tad klitors,bet garso pèc garneles.
es lidzigu zinu par meloni
Joki un Anekdotes I
10. Oktobris 2008, 14:00
http://fun.inbox.lv/video/16630
Pagarš video - stāsts par pērtiķiem, kuriem garšo alkohokiskie kokteiļi un tad paspaidot uz priekšu var redzēt kā tie pērtiķi uzvedas dzērumā
Pagarš video - stāsts par pērtiķiem, kuriem garšo alkohokiskie kokteiļi un tad paspaidot uz priekšu var redzēt kā tie pērtiķi uzvedas dzērumā
Joki un Anekdotes I
10. Oktobris 2008, 14:04
Zvērīgi labs!
Joki un Anekdotes I
10. Oktobris 2008, 14:11
[user]295449|_Ir_|[/user]http://fun.inbox.lv/video/16630
Pagarš video - stāsts par pērtiķiem, kuriem garšo alkohokiskie kokteiļi un tad paspaidot uz priekšu var redzēt kā tie pērtiķi uzvedas dzērumā
tu par vīriešiem?
Joki un Anekdotes I
10. Oktobris 2008, 14:12
[user]466795|Bpa4|[/user][user]295449|_Ir_|[/user]http://fun.inbox.lv/video/16630
Pagarš video - stāsts par pērtiķiem, kuriem garšo alkohokiskie kokteiļi un tad paspaidot uz priekšu var redzēt kā tie pērtiķi uzvedas dzērumā
tu par vīriešiem?
http://fun.inbox.lv/video/16546
lai nevienam nebūtu pretenziju
Joki un Anekdotes I
10. Oktobris 2008, 14:13
Joki un Anekdotes I
12. Oktobris 2008, 19:21
В России две беды, и одна из них постоянно ремонтирует другую :-))